How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

रोजी प्रकाशित केले 4 मार्च, 2020
वेळा पाहिला 4 240 113
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Frederik Imbo studied theatre at the Royal Conservatory of Ghent and has acted in lots of television series. He founded Imboorling and now has over 15 years' experience in stimulating and supporting people. With the aim of improving their communication skills Frederik gives presentations, workshops, training courses and personal coaching sessions to anyone prepared to make their two ears available.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

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  • Victor Carlisle

    Victor Carlisle

    3 तासांपूर्वी

    So excellent. I really needed to hear this.

  • Al'set Barnabi

    Al'set Barnabi

    3 तासांपूर्वी

    4:30 you'll thank me =)

  • Mike Banner

    Mike Banner

    3 तासांपूर्वी

    This is a great lesson, given by a sympathetic guy

  • naijamann

    naijamann

    4 तासांपूर्वी

    Hahahahaha you are describing me... I feel hurt when not acknowledged and take things very personally... thanks for pointing it out .. enjoyed this

  • Karma Llama

    Karma Llama

    6 तासांपूर्वी

    Hey you, yes you 😊. you're probably scrolling through the comments like me. Just remember you are a beautiful person and deserve all the happiness in the world. Take some time to work on you, don't stress about whats going on in the world, or what you are going through. Its time to live your life, we only get one!
    Things will get better soon, I promise.
    ❤ Relaxing Music, Karma Llama. ❤

  • Nickolas Smith

    Nickolas Smith

    10 तासांपूर्वी

    The lively disgust neurally license because copyright inevitably satisfy since a resolute learning. marked, hurried glove

  • 7LAMPS of FIRE

    7LAMPS of FIRE

    11 तासांपूर्वी

    I needed this. Bad! More than food for today. I hear a lot of things that I can transition into my personality and character. This was absolute substance.

  • J. O.

    J. O.

    11 तासांपूर्वी

    Just that last 1 minute of the video is worth it all!
    Great message 🥰

  • Ronaldo Garrosu

    Ronaldo Garrosu

    13 तासांपूर्वी

    Michael Jordan needs to watch this.

  • Maciej Magic

    Maciej Magic

    14 तासांपूर्वी

    Beautiful allegory and amazingly authentic emotional intelligence teachings in the tea break time❤💙💚
    Many thanks 😊

  • Angel Paul

    Angel Paul

    15 तासांपूर्वी

    Thank you for sharing this. It opened me to a whole new perspective of thinking on things that happened to me. It definitely takes a lot of courage and experience to be able to talk and relate to things that hits us so deep. Much appreciation here!

  • Ricky Torres

    Ricky Torres

    15 तासांपूर्वी

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  • Renaat Deckers

    Renaat Deckers

    18 तासांपूर्वी

    T

    • Renaat Deckers

      Renaat Deckers

      18 तासांपूर्वी

      Thank you Frederick Imbo

  • salut kil

    salut kil

    19 तासांपूर्वी

    Very cool

  • Josh Easy

    Josh Easy

    23 तासांपूर्वी

    Wow great ending, I read during the video similar comments to mine but didn’t expect that at the end, thank gosh ppl didn’t spoil the ending .. great quality video & lesson .. always remember your value .. 🙏🏾

  • Mr.WolfmanPlushies

    Mr.WolfmanPlushies

    दिवसापूर्वी

    Amazing Advice

  • bees wasps

    bees wasps

    दिवसापूर्वी

    I think the reason you don't take it personally when someone calls you an orange is because it is just a ridiculous thing to say to some one

  • bees wasps

    bees wasps

    दिवसापूर्वी

    Sometimes you do have to take things personally

  • light throw clouds

    light throw clouds

    दिवसापूर्वी

    قشعريره

  • AHSAN ALAM

    AHSAN ALAM

    दिवसापूर्वी

    beautiful!

  • Diane Gyemi

    Diane Gyemi

    दिवसापूर्वी

    Loved the ending!!!! Impactful!

  • southlondon86

    southlondon86

    दिवसापूर्वी

    Thank you Frederik! I take everything personally so I really needed this. I’m definitely going to practice strengthening my ability to handle criticism. Like with anything else in life, it’s all strengthened through practice. 👍

  • ROPHEKA WA MANZAMBI

    ROPHEKA WA MANZAMBI

    दिवसापूर्वी

    Oh great job moreover the conclusion🇨🇩🙏🏽🙏🏽✌️

  • Angel G

    Angel G

    दिवसापूर्वी

    I sent dis to my mom and my pops lmao hopefully dey don’t take it personally 😂😂

  • huỳnh nguyễn

    huỳnh nguyễn

    दिवसापूर्वी

    “People may attack you, criticise you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out, or even walk all over you. But remember, whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value.”
    - This just hit me so hard. When I take things personally, I always get mad and sometimes fight back ( argue) with the person talked about me (of course things got worse) but after realizing what he said, the more I fight back the more value I lost (wasting my time and becoming more toxic, harmful person).
    Thank you for this incredible TEDtalk, it help me a lot in becoming a better man

  • Man Them

    Man Them

    दिवसापूर्वी

    Kisss

  • Charles Lalawigan

    Charles Lalawigan

    दिवसापूर्वी

    Michael Jordan disagrees btw

  • J B

    J B

    दिवसापूर्वी

    Wow! This is one of the best talks I've ever seen and the best closing statement.

  • James Cool

    James Cool

    दिवसापूर्वी

    Frederik looks just like his compatriot; Kevin De Bruyne. Hahaha. But yes, it was one of the greatest Tedx talks. Thank you

  • Nali Shield

    Nali Shield

    दिवसापूर्वी

    What if , you don't take it personally and let it go, it will hurt you. Let's say, they say u can't be a referee, but u know u can (being right), how can u take that not personally (The job applications not allowing you, because they say, you can't be a referee either, u should just be a player).

  • Floyd John Barbin

    Floyd John Barbin

    दिवसापूर्वी

    Awwwwww loved it.

  • Hasitha Mapalagama

    Hasitha Mapalagama

    दिवसापूर्वी

    My EGO is so high, I never thought its me.

  • borgoat12

    borgoat12

    दिवसापूर्वी

    4:46 "It's our ego."
    It's not "ego." It's self-esteem. There's a difference. "Ego" is conceit, while self-esteem is self-worth. As a hypothetical example, if someone's friends exclude her/him from an activity, that person who's excluded may feel slighted and suffer a loss in self-esteem. That person who's excluded may feel she/he is not good enough or worthy of inclusion. That hurts. It's actually "ego" for the friends doing the excluding because on some level, they erroneously believe they're in a more stable social position than the excluded friend due to their being in the "in-group," and they may be too blinded by "ego" to realise their self-delusion. But of course, they're the ones who are obviously in a less stable social position because "in-group" is fragile and inevitably collapses as one by one, the members of the "in-group" leave to do other things. In contrast, the excluded person who enjoys her/his own company, loves her/himself, and can have fun on her/his own need not worry about social stability because in a group of one, she/he can never be thrown out or left behind, and she/he has full control over her/his happiness and feel self-assured that that happiness does not depend on validation from others. And that's the foundation of truly resilient, long-lasting self-esteem.

  • Lew White

    Lew White

    2 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Look up this psychological-abuse term: GASLIGHTING. There are some people who do this to everyone around them, and build up a kind of gang-mentality against "others" they focus too much on. When you realize this kind of abuse has been used on you, the abuser's attempts to control, blame, or judge you becomes obvious. As Yahusha said, "If you abide in My Word, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free." [Yahukanon 8:31-32]

  • im just saucy

    im just saucy

    2 दिवसांपूर्वी

    bro that ending spoke absolute volumes.just wow

  • Mashaer Alkhatrawi

    Mashaer Alkhatrawi

    2 दिवसांपूर्वी

    I have hard time re- shifting my thinking but hopefully after this talk I remember “ it’s not about me “ and it’s EGO ..
    thanks for this presentation 🙏🏽

  • A D

    A D

    2 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Tysm! No one would ever teach me this.

  • Micelius Beverus

    Micelius Beverus

    2 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Well, to be honest, it's often more useful to be right than happy... And you can be mindlessly happy just cheating yourself... but these are cheap tricks to me, I don't buy it.
    Of course it is advisable not to ponder too much on our failures, let alone get depressed by them... But it shouldn't come at the cost of blindfolding yourself to reality...
    And a football referee should know about it damn well. Am I to think they don't strive to be professional, just seek an occasion to practise happiness no matter what players and spectators see? 😎

  • saurabh kale

    saurabh kale

    2 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Feeling relaxed after hearing it.🙂

  • Asad Marji

    Asad Marji

    2 दिवसांपूर्वी

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  • Wendy Gillett

    Wendy Gillett

    2 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Thank you for this presentation. I admire your public speaking abilities and the topic was excellent too. I needed to hear what you said. Being the scapegoat in my family, I am sensitive to perceived slight or criticism, even after years of therapy. You gave me a new way of responding to my ego when it is poked. Thanks again.

  • Assassino

    Assassino

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Do shrooms. Just once..that's all it takes

  • Botwin Nancy

    Botwin Nancy

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    The handsome rugby bareilly brake because fibre preauricularly boast a a shallow shield. wry, brainy perch

  • 김김태경

    김김태경

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

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  • Zachary Thomas

    Zachary Thomas

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    great speech but I like how whenever he asked a question to the audience there was just silence

  • Sal Cibella

    Sal Cibella

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Thank you for this. I needed it.

  • Ivan Gee

    Ivan Gee

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Michael Jordan has left the chat

  • Trexy Crocs

    Trexy Crocs

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    and I took that personally

  • Simone Lombardo

    Simone Lombardo

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    One of the best Tedx Talk I've seen.

  • Hazel Aggarwal

    Hazel Aggarwal

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    I am here because I want to change myself.

    • Luigi Smalbergher

      Luigi Smalbergher

      10 तासांपूर्वी

      Me to!,,,lol

  • Gracie Johnston

    Gracie Johnston

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    The closed gasoline scientifically brake because harmonica pathophysiologically fade amongst a chief quality. tacky, entertaining cake

  • Mr. Kent Bigmountain

    Mr. Kent Bigmountain

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    "Don't take it personally" is one of the agreement on the book by Don Miguel Ruiz. That book was a big help.

    • Aziz Kambali

      Aziz Kambali

      23 तासांपूर्वी

      @Maureen Khimmery B. Supan It's is interesting indeed. You won't regret it.

    • Maureen Khimmery B. Supan

      Maureen Khimmery B. Supan

      23 तासांपूर्वी

      @Aziz Kambali thank you! It sounds interesting. I'll be sure to read it on my break

    • Aziz Kambali

      Aziz Kambali

      23 तासांपूर्वी

      @Maureen Khimmery B. Supan "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom"

    • Maureen Khimmery B. Supan

      Maureen Khimmery B. Supan

      दिवसापूर्वी

      What book is it?

  • Benjamin M.

    Benjamin M.

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Funny how this just came along exactly when I needed it...

    • Ruby Higson

      Ruby Higson

      2 दिवसांपूर्वी

      Me too! I’m scared that my friend is moving on from me ( he got a girlfriend, we barely talk anymore and when we do we talk about her) and last night I stayed up thinking about what I’ve done wrong. I can be petty, I’m hotheaded, I don’t share his hobbies etc. this is exactly what I needed to hear. ITS NOT ABOUT ME!

  • Bartek Licheński

    Bartek Licheński

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Michael Jordan should watch this

  • sybille dubois

    sybille dubois

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    EXCELLENT.

  • Vidhata Return

    Vidhata Return

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Thankfully Michael Jordan did not see this.

  • Stewart Nell

    Stewart Nell

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Really deep and meaningful

  • Zabi Saboori

    Zabi Saboori

    3 दिवसांपूर्वी

    When You focus on the intention of the other person,
    There's no need to take it personally..... This dude is a legend

  • Martijn

    Martijn

    4 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Show this to Michael Jordan

  • Akbar Ali

    Akbar Ali

    4 दिवसांपूर्वी

    im speechless this was amazing!!

  • Seyfo03

    Seyfo03

    4 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Is there even sitting someone in front of him? So silent damn

  • Ajey Nager

    Ajey Nager

    4 दिवसांपूर्वी

    16:13 while taking out his 20 Euros note, he accidentally dropped a coin. I don't know if he noticed or not but I wanted to point it out.

  • shubhank sharma

    shubhank sharma

    4 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Amazing man good job. Thanks a lot.

  • Vortex

    Vortex

    4 दिवसांपूर्वी

    i think its in my dna to not take things seriously and make horrible comedy out of it and i feel personally attacked by that.

  • Junaidi Ismail

    Junaidi Ismail

    5 दिवसांपूर्वी

    easier said than done.

  • Harman Kaur

    Harman Kaur

    5 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Thanks

  • Nishant Raina

    Nishant Raina

    5 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Amazing talk! Awesome conclusion! Lots of respect!

  • Jessica gray

    Jessica gray

    5 दिवसांपूर्वी

    His teaching relates to my thinking. This is helping a chang in my thinking ,and is helping my high blood pressure.

  • 💣10mrbomber🚀

    💣10mrbomber🚀

    5 दिवसांपूर्वी

    This is so true for me i need to change n be more happy n chill in this sense

  • Lina A

    Lina A

    5 दिवसांपूर्वी

    I remember there was a class in my middle school that was similar to this I think was named 'Character development.' Just putting it out there if anyone wants to learn more about topics like these.

  • Chris Mosner

    Chris Mosner

    5 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Majestic and breathtaking. You are so right about being fortunate to live beneath dark skies. Millions around the globe are, sadly, cut off rom the universe in a very real way. This was your finest opening, Richard! That Sony does great things with video at night. Maybe you can now better capture a light painting session so we can see your timings and technique?

  • Shalini Jain

    Shalini Jain

    5 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Loved the last 20euros example

  • Deriv Trading Community

    Deriv Trading Community

    5 दिवसांपूर्वी

    We need a Tedx Talks School 😊

  • Nets 4 Change

    Nets 4 Change

    5 दिवसांपूर्वी

    As a performer, I too wondered why the audience would be quite when I would perform on stage. Like many people here are wondering the same question about this audience. One day I asked a seasoned performer if he knew why the audience wasn’t clapping or being more vocal... he told me that the when a performance is so good, the audience is captivated by the presentation that they don’t think to clap or show emotion. It all makes sense because at the end of every show we would get a standing ovation. Crazy how that works. And in the theater world being quite is good etiquette as well. You literally have to tell the audience they can clap and make noise.

  • Diegomolinams98

    Diegomolinams98

    5 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Epic ending

  • Claire Jones

    Claire Jones

    5 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Yesterday someone asked me if I was insecure about my body and I lied to them and told them no I love my body. It definitely needs some work but I love it nonetheless because it is mine and mine only... I felt attacked by the mere question that I cried my eyes out until I fell asleep. Maybe the person was raising this seeing how I'm always so reserved and unconfident ... Or it is about me... The fact that it is hard to look at myself in the mirror, take pictures and post them, wear fashionable clothes like girls my age or even walk down the street without my arms crossed and head pointed at the ground... But you see, these are things you can't tell people... As a girl who grew up without a mother around... there are things that affect the way you view yourself... But this guy brings an interesting idea to my head. It is so simple but hardly ever practiced. I'm not in need of sympathy, I just wanted to share my piece of story and tell you to stay strong.

  • Zaria Lane

    Zaria Lane

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    how handsome of a man. thanks for the talk.

  • Jade Dadiz

    Jade Dadiz

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Bars

  • Tara Henry

    Tara Henry

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    XXXXX

  • Nicolas Shalaty

    Nicolas Shalaty

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Good stuff✌️

  • Mauri Nicolas

    Mauri Nicolas

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    The wicked use notablely cycle because chinese grossly wait around a inquisitive hamburger. gifted, nutty blue

  • Imagine that Productions

    Imagine that Productions

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Thank you

  • Bence Sárközi

    Bence Sárközi

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    People on the internet especially twitch, twitter, reddit should see this and take his advice. I am fcking tired of banning words on forums and see whining people on meme subreddits that they got offended by something that's not offensive in any way.

  • chaitanya velamala

    chaitanya velamala

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    I am just here to see the other side of the story

  • reganmcneilonacid

    reganmcneilonacid

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    this is some polyanna naive kind of wishy washy thiinking and quite harming. you can take this personally

  • Zakir Chowdhory

    Zakir Chowdhory

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Just love it, thank you.

  • Immortal

    Immortal

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    What if he shits on the 20EUR - who wants it then?:)

  • M M

    M M

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    OMG. The ending was GOLD. A huge thank you Frederick for this much-needed pep talk.

  • Federico Tarroni

    Federico Tarroni

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Hi Frederik, thanks very much!

  • Lelan Tanphuc

    Lelan Tanphuc

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Yang milih allah like yg Mili dajal hirawkan 1:39.........m.

  • apoorva mahajan

    apoorva mahajan

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Wow sir that was really really helpful❤️❤️

  • Brian Tanner

    Brian Tanner

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    I cried when he said "No matter what people say, you will always keep you value." Hit me like a ton of bricks.

    • Meris López

      Meris López

      2 तासांपूर्वी

      @Funky Human if you really know your value, and know your identity and perfection no even bullies can step over you. God made us as his image just the way we are ... Blessings!

    • Christina

      Christina

      2 दिवसांपूर्वी

      @Create With Darling jj

    • Christina

      Christina

      2 दिवसांपूर्वी

      Kk

    • Funky Human

      Funky Human

      2 दिवसांपूर्वी

      Not true because if ppl bullie then well you're fudged

    • Create With Darling

      Create With Darling

      2 दिवसांपूर्वी

      Me too 😭

  • Do Ngoc Quynh

    Do Ngoc Quynh

    6 दिवसांपूर्वी

    The rare blanket considerably name because temple importantly describe below a freezing twist. plausible, aggressive swan

  • ecefw

    ecefw

    7 दिवसांपूर्वी

    I was really glad that i'd stumbled on this video and this was my first time that I watched ted talk that I really finished it. At the end of the video it was a very thought-provoking metephor. I even smiled at the end of the video while he said "You will always keep your value."

  • Devineee Visionary

    Devineee Visionary

    7 दिवसांपूर्वी

    This guy is a genius

  • erratic_calm

    erratic_calm

    7 दिवसांपूर्वी

    I needed this today. Thanks, Google.

  • Fuji Honjo

    Fuji Honjo

    7 दिवसांपूर्वी

    In conclusion: $20 is $20

    • Jenifer Ryan

      Jenifer Ryan

      7 दिवसांपूर्वी

      +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

    • Jenifer Ryan

      Jenifer Ryan

      7 दिवसांपूर्वी

      Whatzapp

    • Jenifer Ryan

      Jenifer Ryan

      7 दिवसांपूर्वी

      All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊

  • Amen Sister

    Amen Sister

    7 दिवसांपूर्वी

    Wonderful public speaking and suberb ending! Will have to use that sometime!!!

    • Jenifer Ryan

      Jenifer Ryan

      7 दिवसांपूर्वी

      +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

    • Jenifer Ryan

      Jenifer Ryan

      7 दिवसांपूर्वी

      Whatzapp

    • Jenifer Ryan

      Jenifer Ryan

      7 दिवसांपूर्वी

      All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊

  • Joseph Mills

    Joseph Mills

    7 दिवसांपूर्वी

    9:54 my thoughts exactly

    • Jenifer Ryan

      Jenifer Ryan

      7 दिवसांपूर्वी

      +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

    • Jenifer Ryan

      Jenifer Ryan

      7 दिवसांपूर्वी

      Whatzapp ✅

    • Jenifer Ryan

      Jenifer Ryan

      7 दिवसांपूर्वी

      All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊😊

  • logan swartz

    logan swartz

    7 दिवसांपूर्वी

    i showed this to my girlfriend but she took it personally

    • Jenifer Ryan

      Jenifer Ryan

      7 दिवसांपूर्वी

      +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

    • Jenifer Ryan

      Jenifer Ryan

      7 दिवसांपूर्वी

      Whatzapp

    • Jenifer Ryan

      Jenifer Ryan

      7 दिवसांपूर्वी

      All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊